A Deeper Look Into My Reasoning

One thing that I am not ashamed of is that I am a planner. I will plan for something months, sometimes years in advance. The funny thing is that 99% of the time it never actually goes as planned. Most people would stop planning that far in advance but not me. I have been this way ever since I can remember, so why stop now?

About three years ago I was going through a really difficult time in my life. All my previous plans, and life goals seemed to just disappear or be ripped away from me. I was heartbroken. Since I am such a planner I got to the point where I went into a deep depression. I had nothing left, no ideas of what I wanted to do, not dreams at all.

In all honesty I have no idea how I got out of it. I think I just finally realized that even though I had been through some difficult stuff and hurt by people I wasn’t the only one. Really there are others that have gone through so much worse then I did and they had to choose whether or not it would ruin or build them up. I decided, after many months, that I would choose the latter. After about four months and many tears and prayers, I realized I was put through everything for a reason. That reason is to in return help others. This quote actually was the thing that really made things hit home for me.

“I used to love watching scary movies or crime-driven things. To be reminded of that kinds of ugliness is very different where your sole purpose is protecting someone”

-Linda Cardellini

I know, kinda of a weird quote to make you realize what you should be doing with your life. The reason that it affected me so much is because I am that person who is obsessed with everything crime related. Shows, articles, books, documentaries, all of it. Instead of it scaring me it fascinates me. But because of these interests and what has all happened in my life I finally realized that I want to help the people who aren’t strong enough to help themselves, the people that don’t have the will power or the capability to fight for themselves. Whether it be due to a mental illness, past hurt, abuse, really whatever made them the way they are today I want to try to make people’s lives safer and better for them.

That’s when I started to think “what is something that I’d love to do and what would help the people the most?” After watching too many episodes of Criminal Minds and reading hero stories, it hit me. An FBI agent. I don’t know if I should really put that out there, but what are the odds that it will really happen? It doesn’t hurt to try though!

Long story short, that’s what led me to university in Virginia instead of somewhere in Canada, closer to home.The university that I am attending is a few hours from Quantico, Virginia (where the FBI academy is located) and I am blessed to have dual citizenship in both Canada and the United States, making this goal a little easier to achieve. Going to school there will help me check off some requirements for the FBI and facilitate the completion of a Bachelor of Criminal Psychology.

So here I am, sitting in my bedroom in my parents house, 23 days till I leave, looking a the massive pile clothes and my suitcases ready to move on and start this new exciting journey.

J.

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